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"It gives me little pleasure to write about my experience of being harmed by therapy. I believe in the values espoused by therapy. I once trained as a social worker. I have also had good experiences talking to counsellors and a Clinical Psychologist. But my experience of NHS group analytic therapy was so terrible it still weighs on me six years after it occurred. So that's why I want to share my testimony. At the time I went along to NHS Psychotherapy curious to learn how it might help. I went along despite having improved alot since the referral was made. I was off medication and coping with life. But I thought I should take the chance to try Psychotherapy. I was intrigued. I spent six weeks talking to a therapist about my life and filled in personality questionnaires and answered questions about childhood abuse and negelct. I asked what impression this had all given the therapist and the question was brushed aside. She recommended I join her group. It was explained that it was "group analytic therapy" or what the goal was. I wasn't offered an alternative choice. I weighed up whether I wanted to go or not and decided I would give it a try. That's when the trouble really began. I really did not like the atmosphere of the group and felt really disturbed by the seeming blankness of the therapist. I should say it was the same therapist I had spoken to. After three weeks I realised I really didn't understand what the connection was between everything I had already spoken about and why I was in the group. I didn't hear anything from the other members that made me want to continue. Then the therapist invited the group members to speak about someone who wasn't there. I was a bit shocked by this. Then there was a Christmas break. Over those weeks I asked myself alot of questions about "what have I entered and what does she think is wrong with me?" I became extremly distressed. I told my GP I felt really troubled by how this was shaping up and how I did't want to go back. I felt somehow tipped upside down and plunged into depression. The GP offered to tell the therapist I wasn't coming back. I agreed. But then the therapist phoned me and encouraged me to come back to the group. This began a year of going along nearly every week despite feeling more depressed. I was confused by every utterance from the therapist. I ruminated all week and couldn't work or function. I researched. I said I don't want to continue several times. But I kept getting letters encouraging me to come back. I tried in the group to explain I found this situation to distressing. I tried phoning the therapist to say I was confused. She said "Good!" I said I wanted to leave. She said "that's why you are in therapy." I said I don't find it helpful. She said "come and tell the group about that." Sometimes in the group the therapist said things to me that I felt were like bear baiting. None of it was comprehensible to me. I wasn't even sure if there was supposed to be a therapeutic alliance with a group therapist. I never saw any evidence that the meetings were helping anyone. Eventually another Christmas break came. I phoned and left as message saying I wasn't going back.. The therapist wrote and asked me to meet with her. Out of the perverse sense of duty I had to the therapist I went to the meeting. She maintained the stance of not understanding why I had found the whole experience negative. She shook her head at me. I didn't care anymore I just knew if I had to sit in her group once more I might take my own life. I couldn't excuse or permit her invasive questions or opaque comments. I couldn't continue just to try and protect the other group members. Staying would be up to them. I left. But of course I was stuck ruminating and was now addicted to trying to understand psychotherapy. I dug into what is "group analytic therapy." I learned about leaving it to the group to figure out. I learned about harm rates. I learned about informed consent. I learned about how unwilling therapists and group analysts are to consider therapy as harmful. I wrote a complaint and was just told "we are sorry you found it unhelpful." A year later feeling depressed by the experience I complained again to the Head of Psychotherapy. I told them they waste peoples time not giving them information to make informed choices. I told them I felt trapped in the therapy by the therapist. The took on some recommendations for helping people. I don't know if they took them onboard. But since then I've struggled to really get past the feelings I felt during that time. Of feeling trapped and unheard. Yes, that might sound like a summary of my childhood. But if there's no trust in the relationship I don't really see how it could ever be more than a traumatic experience. At the time I was totally isolated but stuck with the cult like power of "if you leave you are running away from help." Now I can say to you I should have trusted my instincts. My hope for others is that if they feel uncomfortable with therapy of any kind and if you raise it and do not feel answered - RUN"